Families with children with vastly different lives face unique challenges in estate planning. For those who are also business owners, where some children work in the business, and others do not, inheritance decisions require additional estate planning. An example comes from a recent article appearing in Market Watch, “We have $13.5 million and 3 kids, but one is an addict. How do we fairly divide our estate?”
The oldest son is an addict living in a motel with a second wife. The family has spent many years and a significant amount of money on rehab, sober-living houses and even purchasing a home for the son and the first wife. They have stopped providing any financial support. However, they often speak with their son and love him. A 26-year-old daughter lives in a home purchased by her parents, and they have a good relationship. The youngest son, 23, works for one of their companies and performs very well. The parents purchased a home and a car for him.
How can the parents distribute their assets, which include a home valued at around $1 million, one business valued at about $8 million, other businesses valued at around $2 million and about $2 million in investment accounts? The youngest son eventually wants to purchase the business he works for . They don’t want to shortchange their daughter. In addition, there is a young man whom they consider a son, and they want him to inherit.
Thoughtful estate planning will ensure that the parents leave a fair division of assets. This will certainly involve at least one trust and business transfers. The oldest son is the most vulnerable. However, he can be protected. They want their youngest son’s efforts and responsibilities to be recognized, and their daughter and de facto son to be cared for as well.
To start, they need to avoid leaving a lump sum for the addicted son. An irrevocable trust with a professional trustee would probably present the best solution. A discretionary trust or substance-abuse protective trust, possibly with a requirement to attend Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings and/or provide evidence of the son’s sobriety, should be considered.
The young man whom the parents consider another son may be left a quarter of the estate, or a smaller percentage than the three biological children, to show love and appreciation. Here also, a professional trustee should serve as an independent party so as not to engender any resentment between the biological children and this young man.
The youngest son, who wants to carry on the family business, could buy out the parents. However, anything not regarded as fair market value would be treated as a gift by the IRS. Many business transfers among family members are made through installment sales, family limited partnerships, grantor-retained trusts and valuation discounts. If structured correctly, these can reduce the tax impact. These are often years-long processes to minimize tax structures.
The biggest challenge will be transferring the business to the youngest son. while ensuring the others receive their share of the estate. It may mean giving the others assets such as real estate, stocks, or retirement accounts.
We leave money to others for four reasons: altruism based on family relationships, equity to maintain family unity, egoism and reciprocity. Maintaining fairness and objectivity, along with love and support for children, regardless of their situations, is the goal of any estate plan. A skilled estate planning attorney can ensure that this happens.
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Reference: Market Watch (March 10, 2026) “We have $13.5 million and 3 kids, but one is an addict. How do we fairly divide our estate?”
